


glass houses

by vesuvivian



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character's Name Spelled as Bertholdt, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Falco is Reiner's son, Family, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Father!Reiner, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Parenthood, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow To Update, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-29 03:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30149919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesuvivian/pseuds/vesuvivian
Summary: Reiner is a war veteran and a single father raising his son with his found family: Pieck, Porco, and Connie. Though he has a long road to recovery from his regretful past, he was granted a second chance at a new life, and he's not letting that go to waste anymore. Still, the past haunts him like a silent creature stalking him in the night, and when people from his war years resurface, his mind will be put to the test.**Characters & other relationships to be tagged as I write the story.**I don't know what I'm creating, or how many chapters this story will be.**I just wanted to make Reiner a dad and get him some therapy.**Eventual ReiBert romance.
Relationships: Pieck Finger/Porco Galliard, Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	1. the fool

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Ri here! I'm kind of excited for this, as I have an idea of the direction I want the story to take, but I don't have everything planned out yet; I'll go with the flow and hope for the best! Meanwhile, some things I'd like to note:  
> **I know it would probably make a lot more sense if Gabi was Reiner's child since they're family in canon, but I find Falco a lot sweeter and couldn't stop picturing him as Reiner's kid, so that's what's gonna happen.  
> **I've never written anything for Reiner, so I'm not sure I do his character justice, but I really, really hope this is as close to him as possible.  
> **Please note that I am not an expert on DID and will be doing my best to handle this subject as respectfully as I possibly can. I will be doing as much research on it as possible so that I can present this with the care and respect it deserves.

_“…Sometimes I still think about the way the kid looked into my eyes before I shot him. He was a fucking child, you know. It’s still so fresh in my mind.”_ The man’s voice cracked. Everyone in the circle gave sympathetic looks and nods, the two people beside him patted his back as he wiped his tears silently.

It had been fifteen years since Marley had been defeated in the second world war, and mental scars remained fresh in many people’s minds. Humanity was still healing, amends were still being made, and new laws were still being discussed and implemented in order to avoid another catastrophe; reparations to nations affected, especially those of Eldian descent, were still occurring.

Reiner sat among the diverse bunch of soldiers, some who fought for Marley, others that fought against them. It was his first time in a therapy group, but not for lack of trying; after the war ended, Reiner and his comrades were saved from Marley and immediately placed into a rehabilitation program. The United Nations, along with the queen of Paradis, had made it a point to pardon him and the other warrior candidates for their crimes. This decision came with fierce scrutiny from those close to the queen of Paradis, and even Reiner resisted to his sentencing, stating that he wished to pay for his trespassing with death; his pleas were ignored, though, said to be the words of a suicidal child who hadn’t yet learned to live, and so his name was changed, while all his files as a warrior candidate were buried somewhere in an archive.

A new chance at life with no trace of his past…except for the dead people that followed close behind him everywhere he went, or the memories his mind replayed. He struggled with alcohol abuse for years after, close friends of his like Pieck and Porco had to help him off it. He went to a few AA meetings through his recovery, which was where he met another soldier-Connie-and they became great friends rather quickly. Connie was the reason Reiner decided give group therapy for soldiers a try. Still, Reiner was terrified of having to recount his experience-the first few times he tried to join the group, he could never make it past the door; the third time, he was so overcome with anxiety, that he ended up vomiting on the parking lot of the building. Reiner wasn’t sure he would ever be ready, so he forced himself this time, to stay and be present.

“Before we go, I have to address the elephant in the room.” The woman with sand colored hair spoke. Reiner felt his heart race, and Connie patted his back encouragingly. “There’s a new person in our group.” She looked at Reiner with a kind smile. “Would you like to introduce yourself?” Reiner nodded and cleared his throat.

“Uh…Hello, my name’s Ryker Bauers.” Every time he had to present himself with his new name, he wanted to shrivel up and disappear of embarrassment. The group greeted him in unison. “I, uh, was an Eldian forced to fight for Marley as a child, up until I was seventeen. I gave myself over willingly to the united nations when they rescued us from Marley. I’m thirty-two now, and just… Have been living life since then, I suppose.”

“Well, Ryker, my name’s Rico Brzenska and I’m the leader of this group. You’re welcome here any time, and you don’t have to tell us your stories or your thoughts until you’re ready.” She ended with a reassuring smile.

Reiner stood up from his chair, creating small talk with different soldiers as they came up to greet him personally. Connie watched from the sidelines with a proud smile, feeling accomplished for finally being able to drag him into this after six years of prodding him; maybe this meant Reiner could finally branch out and make new friends apart from Connie. Not that Connie minded their friendship, he just thought it was sad that he was the only real friend he had apart from Pieck and Porco.

“So, how’d you like the meeting?” Connie elbowed his giant friend as they walked through the parking lot towards Connie’s car. Reiner gave a small smile.

“It was alright, I guess. I just need time to get used to it.” Connie nodded in agreement.

“You know, the people here are very open to hearing every side of each story. It’s an initiative to breach the gap between Eldians, Marleyans, and people of conquered nations. It’s why I really like this group, because at least here, we’re all equal in the same fucked up shit that war made us go through.” Connie’s voice came through with an indescribable tone; it sounded like sorrow, but there was tint of hope to it.

“Honestly, I think that’s a really amazing goal and it seems to have been working thus far...” Reiner’s voice faded as they got closer to Connie’s car, noticing his own car was parked next to his best friends; he stopped when he noticed two people standing near his vehicle. His face lit up immediately, and he ran towards the two figures.

“My little hero!” Reiner yelled as he ran. Connie laughed and ran behind his best friend. As he got closer, he spread his arms wide open, scooping up the toddler in front of him. The child laughed loudly, his joy filling up the relatively quiet parking lot. Reiner spun the kid around before hugging him tightly against his chest. Reiner’s world was something murky; filled with tones of ugly greens, muted bronze, and grays worth millions of shades-until a little someone entered his life four years ago.

Reiner had several ups and downs in these fifteen years, he’d done plenty of reckless shit, but his lowest point was five and a half years ago-when he relapsed into alcoholism. He was drunk and, in a stupor-for more than half the time-which left him with no recollection of the things that happened for a year and a half…meaning he doesn’t remember knocking anyone up. He was planning on killing himself, for real this time, and he decided that being a drunken bastard was a great way to go, until he heard a baby crying on his doorstep. All the kid had was a blanket, his birth certificate, and a note that said:

_“He’s yours. I named him Falco, because unlike you and I, he’s free from all the fucking cruelty in this world, free like a bird. Isn’t that what you wanted to be?”_

Reiner felt like the goddess Ymir was playing some sick trick on him at that moment; the irony of his son being born on the same day he planned on dying seemed like the cruelest punchline in the fucked-up joke that was his life. He sat on the porch next to the screaming newborn, called Pieck on his phone, and asked her to come and confirm whether he was hallucinating or not. Reiner would tell you the child was a blessing in disguise now, but at that moment, it felt like another burden on his conscience.

Reiner noticed the green hoodie Falco wore and sighed.

“You went to see the My Hero movie without me?!” He asked Pieck in pretend frustration. Pieck nodded and shrugged her shoulders. She wore a green wig, and a similar attire to that of the main character’s mother.

“It was premiere day; Falco and I had been planning this for months now. It’s nothing personal!” She said, smiling. Reiner and Pieck had agreed that Falco and she would watch action movies together; loud noises triggered Reiner’s memories, and while he tried to join in on his son’s favorite media, ‘My Hero’ was one of those that he couldn’t enjoy to the fullest, specifically due to a blonde-haired character’s powers. He still tried to watch the series with Falco in his home every now and then, albeit with subtitles and some noise cancelling headphones.

“I wish you could have seen it, dad! It was aweama-,” Falco stopped mid-sentence to quickly shake his head, while Reiner watched him expectantly. “Awesome!” Falco finished his statement giddily; sometimes he mixed words when he talked too quickly from excitement. Reiner laughed. 

“Hey, kid! You’re not gonna say hi to your favorite uncle?!” Connie asked from behind.

“Uncle Connie!” He yelled. Reiner let out a _‘whoa’_ , recoiling from the high pitch voice of his son in his ear. Falco extended his arms out towards Connie, and Connie picked him up from Reiner’s arms.

“Mind you, _I’m_ the favorite uncle!” A voice came from inside Reiner’s car, it was Porco sticking his head out from the driver seat window. Connie grimaced towards Porco.

“You’re the _cool_ uncle, I’m the _favorite_ uncle.” Connie retorted, sticking his tongue out. Falco imitated Connie, sticking his tongue out to his other uncle. Reiner and Pieck burst out laughing, while Porco opened the car door, getting on his knees, and placing his hands on his chest.

“My heart! It’s been broken!” Porco yelled out. He exaggerated dying, slowly lying on the floor, and closing his eyes with his tongue out. Connie and Falco ran over to him to return Porco back to life, while Pieck turned to look at Reiner.

“How did your first meeting go?” Pieck asked him quietly. Reiner’s eyes left the dramatic scene happening in front of him to look at his sister.

“Um, it went well, I think. I had to listen to people’s war traumas and well…That’s never easy.” He said, placing his hands inside his pockets while shrugging. Pieck’s eyes lingered on him, as if expecting to hear something else. He let out a chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’m not ' _crazy'_ or switched.” He said sarcastically, while making a ridiculous face, and shaking his hands near his face. The "crazy" part was a jab at past words she had thrown against him. Her eyebrows furrowed in anger, and her hand balled into a fist, crashing against his shoulder.

“Ow!” He complained quietly. He knew she didn’t like when he joked about his problems, especially his mental health. 

“I’m _serious_ , Reiner. In fifteen fucking years, you have _never_ talked about what happened- I’ve seen you put a fucking gun in your mouth.” She stopped to take a deep breath. “I am worried for you and about you.” She whispered angrily, her eyes watering. Reiner automatically wrapped his arms around Pieck, hiding her crying face from the rest of the group. He stood there as she silently cried into his chest.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have joked about that with you.” He spoke into her raven hair. Neither of the acknowledged the reference he made to a past argument they'd had. Tonight wasn't the night for that. She nodded.

“You’re driving Falco to his first day of preschool tomorrow.” She said into his shirt, changing the subject. Pieck felt guilty now; she always felt guilt for feeling so sensitive to Reiner’s problems. She knew it was selfish of her, since she wasn’t the one living through it, but she couldn’t help it.

“I can’t wait.” He followed her lead, making sure to sound happy.

The night went on after Connie left in his car to his own apartment. The drive to their home was full of chatter about the film, with Falco making special sound effects, imitating the characters and their epic fights; loud singing and laughter ensued.

It was a new start for Falco and a new chapter for Reiner.


	2. the emperor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we'll be introduced to 'The Soldier', Reiner's main and only alter (at the moment, haha, there's still details I'm working through). This alter holds Reiner's memories and traumas of the Paradis operation, so all things pertaining Reiner's time in Paradis is locked away within 'The Soldier'. I'm not sure I'll give this alter a real name yet, for now he will be referred to as 'Soldier' or 'The Soldier'.

_“Take his fucking weapons.” The hazel eyed boy yelled at his two friends as he held another boy beneath him, crushing his windpipe. He stared down at the brunette underneath his boot, his eyes red with tears falling from them._

_“We can still talk this through.” The freckled boy croaked._

_“Reiner, there’s other ways to deal with this!” A blonde girl cried from behind him._

_“No!” Reiner barked. He forced his weight against the boy’s neck, snapping it._

Reiner woke up choking and gasping for air; his body felt sticky against his sheet from the sweat. He looked towards the nightstand looking for the clock; it was four in the morning, far too early to wake Falco up. He looked over to his other side to see Falco’s slumbering figure next to him in an odd position. Reiner decided to focus on evening his breathing, hoping his panic hadn’t woken up his son. He placed his hand against his temple, taking shaky breaths. He stood up from the bed, stretching while walking towards the door of his room, heading downstairs to the kitchen. In the kitchen, he started making a cup of coffee, sitting on the dining table.

He pondered the memory because he couldn’t remember that boy’s name, or anything that happened after the snap of his neck. Reiner’s mind had erased certain major details of his past. There were things he remembered clearly, other’s that were murky, sometimes there were huge gaps where anything could have happened. This wasn’t something new either, he’d been experiencing this since he was a child. He wouldn’t try to force it, though, some mysteries were better left as just that.

Tiny footsteps approached the kitchen, and Falco came into view, holding his favorite blanket. He rubbed his eyes as he walked towards the refrigerator, taking out his sippy cup full of apple juice. He walked back to the dining table, pulling a chair and sitting across from his father. Reiner watched him, with a small smile plastered across his face. He began to drink from his cup.

“Hey, boss, did I wake you?” Reiner asked, leaning back on his chair.

“Kind of.” He responded.

“I’m sorry.” It was all Reiner could say, because it was all he felt now. The boy’s face from his memories kept popping into his mind, guilt consuming him. Both stayed silent for a bit, while Falco kept drinking his juice.

“You talk in your sleep.” Falco mentioned. Reiner raised an eyebrow.

“Is that what woke you up?” Falco nodded in response.

“You kept saying Marco.” He replied. Reiner felt his mind space out for a second as he blinked a few times, confusion overtaking him. He shook his head.

“Don’t mention that name.” Reiner responded, his voice taking a much more serious intonation.

“I'm sorry…” Falco whispered. He felt as though he might be in trouble now, noticing the edge in his father's voice-something that only occurred when he did something that required correcting.

“Listen, kid,” Reiner started. He looked up at the boy, seeing the child for the first time. He felt his emotions overcome him, as if a wave of tears could pour out any given moment. ‘ _That’s Reiner’s son.’,_ he thought to himself. He shook his head, trying to focus on the task at hand: find a way to explain to his host’s son the complexity of his dad’s condition.

“There’s some things you don’t know about your fa-” He stopped mid-sentence. “About _me_.” He corrected himself, not knowing how to refer to himself in this moment. ‘ _Maybe explaining this to a four-year-old isn’t a good idea.’_ , he thought. He knew Reiner wished for him to not meet his son, that’s why he’d been repressed for these past four years somewhere deep in Reiner’s mind.

“Falco, why are you up?” Pieck’s voice interrupted the conversation. She walked into the room, standing beside him and stroking his hair.

“Daddy wasn’t in bed.” He replied. She smiled, leaning down and placing a kiss on the child’s forehead.

“Go to my room, then, sleep next to uncle Porco. It’s still too early for you to be up.” Falco nodded, standing up from the chair quickly. Before he left, he walked over to his father, hugging him. Reiner ‘s face turned into a surprised one, but quickly changed to a smiling one, making sure to maintain his front as Reiner; he hugged the boy back.

“I love you, dad.” He whispered. He extended his blanket to Reiner. “It keeps bad dreams away.” Reiner took the blanket, holding it in his calloused hands. He watched as the child walked away. Reiner’s eyes began to water; the kid was too intuitive for his age. His mind reverberated with overlapping thoughts of not deserving this kind of life, questions of whether being a dad was a right choice... _How could someone like me have something so pure?_ Screamed from within. Pieck sat on the same chair Falco had been on.

“Who are you?” She asked, her tone sharp as a blade. Reiner looked up from the blanket.

“I’m me.” He answered. She shook her head.

“No. You’re the other one, aren’t you? The soldier.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, waiting for him to answer. Pieck was quick at picking up changes of behavior, especially Reiner’s; despite his alter trying his best to blend into the moment, the second his eyes slightly widened when Falco hugged him-she knew. He nodded. “Why are you back? Everything’s been fine. Four years of Reiner getting his shit together without you or your so-called help.” Reiner’s face grimaced at her words.

“I know you and I have had our differences, but I’m here to protect Reiner. I have no other purpose.” He stated, sounding irritated.

“Right,” She said sarcastically. “Because driving him to suicide is protecting.” She nodded. Her words felt like a slap across his face.

“Some day you’ll understand that I’m not some entity possessing your brother. I am him as much as he is me, in different stages of his life, with different purposes. Those feelings were not just mine, no matter how much you want to shift that blame on to something or someone, Pieck.” He rubbed his temples in clear annoyance. She rolled her eyes.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” She looked into his hazel eyes, a piercing gaze that spoke of nothing but disdain.

“The kid mentioned the name of someone from the Paradis operation.” He answered in a lowered voice. Pieck’s eyes widened.

“Shit.” She whispered.

“Shit indeed.”

“But how would he know something like that? He was practically born yesterday.” Her eyes looked towards the entrance of the kitchen, to the hall where her room was, before looking back at him.

“Reiner was having a flashback in the form of a nightmare. I guess he must have been muttering a name or something.” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. Pieck took a deep breath.

“Do I have to watch over you?” She asked him. He looked up at her, shaking his head. She nodded. “Since I’m not sure when you’ll switch back to Reiner, I guess I should fill you in on certain things.” She leaned forward, looking intensely into her brother’s eyes.

“Reiner has a kid now, whether _you_ claim him or not, I don’t care. He makes Reiner happy, he’s the sole reason Reiner is off drinks, and that boy is also part of the reason you’ll both be going to therapy.” The soldier gulped; there weren’t a lot of things he feared, but Pieck being serious or angry-that was something he could live without experiencing again. “His name is Falco, he’s four, and today is a _really_ special day for him and for Reiner too. It’s his first day of preschool, first time he’ll be away from his father for such a prolonged time too.” She closed her eyes, mumbling under her breath how much she wished Reiner would just come forward.

“So, if by seven you’re still… _you_ , please make sure Falco doesn’t notice.” She looked at him from behind her bangs. The soldier noticed how, despite her harsh tone, this was something that meant a lot to all of them. He conceded, agreeing that he wouldn't mess this up for them. Pieck stood up from the table, saying she needed sleep, and he waved goodbye to her as she walked away.

The soldier noticed a photo that was hung on one of the kitchen walls; it was Reiner holding Falco in his arms; Pieck and Porco were petting a horse beside them, while Connie posed next to a terribly carved pumpkin between the two pairs. All of them carried bright smiles. A sign behind them read ‘Braus Family Farm’.

For the first time in a long time, the soldier felt himself smile a genuine smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Facts I've learned while researching about DID, as well as some small lore details: 
> 
> **The Soldier is problematic in the way that he is very impulsive, quick to make decisions and say things despite the consequences, which is why Pieck dislikes him so much and keeps him at arm's length. A lot of Pieck and Reiner's strong arguments and moments throughout the years have been due to The Soldier and his unfiltered personality. 
> 
> **Reiner is aware of his condition because he was diagnosed with it, however, he has never really breached the gap between him and his alter(s). As Pieck mentioned in the first chapter, Reiner has gone around fifteen years repressing the memories and never speaking about his complex trauma, which has made communication and building a cooperative system impossible for him. This means that, as the host, he's unaware of when he switches until he comes to the front again, and he doesn't really know what his alter(s) are thinking, feeling, or doing when he's gone-making his condition unpredictable and severely frustrating for him. 
> 
> **Alter(s) sometimes influence the hosts feelings, even subconsciously, which is why Pieck mentioned that 'Soldier' drove Reiner to attempt suicide. Behind the scenes, alter(s) may all collectively agree about something unanimously, which can directly influence the hosts emotional state, I.E: suicide is the only way to end the emotional pain of trauma. 
> 
> **Certain characters within this story did not meet Reiner, Annie or Bertholdt during their Paradis operation-two of these (at the moment) being Connie and Sasha. I feel like I needed to add this little note here, because it'll be a common detail throughout the story with specific characters, and I didn't want to confuse some of you haha.


End file.
